The feeling of worthlessness and How I survived it

The feeling of worthlessness always haunted me since my early childhood. I was always a quiet kid considering the fact my father always called me a retarded — Which I never knew why. Being raised in a country that values a child by the grades he scores I was an average student and so no one cared about me.

Once I graduated from school, I joined college dreaming to become an engineer and create amazing things, But guess what? It was a bigger failure than the success I imagined, I was an average student, I never really made any friends, even after graduation I didn’t get placed in any companies and I had no clue what the f — -k I am going to do with my life.

Months went by searching for jobs and I am sure I send my resumes to every company in the world and I got rejected at least 1000 times. During these times I had a lot a people telling me that I wasn’t good for anything and sometimes I seriously considered suicide.

What is my self worth? I am an average student, with no special talents, Not good at making friends, What can I ever contribute to this world?

After months of heartbreaks and despair I got placed in Amazon, I wouldn’t say the pay is high but just enough to buy myself food and clothes.

So I wondered…..

What was my self worth?

I was an average student, I am not having any special talents, I am not good at making friends, What made me special?

After an intense introspection, I realized I was a good person, I was kind and respectful towards others, always willing to help the ones in need. When I look at the world, that one quality itself makes me special regardless of my so-called ‘academics’.

One thing I realized working in my job at Amazon is that I was really honest to work and I was hard-working in finishing the task I have been given.

There is always some qualities that make you special in this world, the qualities that define who you are regardless of your IQ or the economic status that you are born with.

What is your self worth?

Everybody is unique and imperfect, even you. Nobody is perfect and everybody have an important role in this world. We are a species of collective knowledge and wisdom and all of us add up to the total human civilization and everyone has an equal role to play in it.

You can’t allow anybody to define your self-worth. In my case most of my childhood I believed I was worthless because my father said so and that was indeed my greatest regret looking back at my life now. I wasn’t ‘Young Sheldon’ like prodigy but I was special in my way, I know that now.

Talent is good, I mean if you are born with it or if you had the right opportunities to develop it, it is great. But you don’t have any special talent doesn’t mean that you are not good for anything.

I am going to tell you the story of a boy …whose teacher described him as “mentally slow, unsociable, and adrift forever in foolish dreams.” he was even rejected from his school. But later in life he never gave up on his curiosity in science and became a great inventor and a good businessman. His name is Thomas Alva Edison.

“Self–worth is so vital to your happiness if you don’t feel good about you, it’s hard to feel good about anything else.”
Sandy Hale

Don’t Give up on Rejection

Not everyone may value who you are, whether it may be your relationships or job. You might not be the right person for them but you are the right person for someone, you just have to keep trying again and again until you find your special place.

People who persevere are the ones that have higher chances of becoming successful at what they want. If you want something go for it, don’t wait for someone to tell you that you have to do it and don’t let anybody stop you from doing it.

Always remember all the legends that walked the earth was rejected at some point in their life. Jack London who wrote “The Call of the Wild” was rejected over 600 times by publishing companies before publishing The call of the wild.

“Hey. Don’t ever let somebody tell you… You can’t do something. Not even me. Alright? You got a dream… You gotta protect it. People can’t do something’ themselves, they wanna tell you you can’t do it. If you want something’, go get it. Period.” — The Pursuit of Happyness

Survive the storm

Everyone has bad days, for some people, it is more destructive than others. But surviving the storm makes you strong and makes you capable of surviving anything. My childhood traumas and criticisms made me weak once but I learned to accept who I am and dedicated my time to make myself better every day.

It’s okay to screw up sometimes, make mistakes, learn from the mistakes but never let yourself done with those mistakes. Always remember life is a constant process of learning new things and applying it.

The strongest of those alive on earth are the ones who survived the toughest storms.

Last But Not the Least

For those who suffered soul-crushing defeats like me in their life.. Always remember you are precious even though you may not think so. So please don’t give up, trust me giving up means letting the people who pushed you down win, you can’t let that happen.

Your skin isn’t paper don’t cut it

Your neck isn’t coat don’t hang it

Your Body isn’t a book, don’t judge it

Your life isn’t a movie, don’t end it

Your heart isn’t a door, don’t lock it

Have a great life ahead of you

Thank you for your time, I hope you found it useful.

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